My Second Essay Pick

For our second essay that we have to write I have chosen to write about Food and Memory. It is the best selection for me because since I have been away from home it really has hit me that I miss having a home cooked meal; I also know what ingredients are in as well. Numerous time I have thought about my mothers food I don't think I would be missing home cooked food so much if I lived in the apartments and had a kitchen where I could cook when I wanted.

The modes of writing which I will probably use are description, narration and illustration.

My game plan for writing this essay is as follows:
1. Walk to the library and find a nice place where I will be able to write without distractions.
2. Pre-write a list of possible topics to include.
3. Think of a catchy and cleaver title.
4. Write some great paragraphs.
5. Take a brief break and gather my thoughts; see what everyone is doing later in the evening.
6. Finish composing the rest of my essay and revise it.
7. Have a friend or two look it over and tell me where all I could use improvement.

That is my game plan for tackling this essay. I hope I don't get off-sides while writing.

Fast Food Nation Post 2

Things that I would be interested in learning more about:
1. The correlation of parents working more and spending more money on their children.
2. Why in 1999 children's favorite television ad was the Budweiser ad.
3. Why fast food chains spend nearly 3 billion dollars on television advertising.
4. Who thinks about the toys which are distributed within the Happy Meals. What the thought process is to determining which toy will be put in when.

3 Paragraphs

As one would walk into the bookstore, they may notice the prices of items to be higher than expected. There are many ways that the university bookstore takes advantage of students. The prices of textbooks are extremely expensive. I have only bought a few of my books from the bookstore, all the other ones I have rented from Txtbookrental so I would be saving money. At the end of the academic school year, I plan on selling the few books that I did by back even though I will not get as near as much money for the book as it is worth. The price of tuition is not cheap and you would think that the university would help its students out by lowering the price of textbooks.
Mode of writing: illustration

As my alarm went off at 6:10, I looked out the window and noticed the sidewalks were still covered in snow. Confused, I logged on to my computer and realized that the university would be closed until noon. I fell back asleep for a few more hours woke up only to realize that I needed to hurry and get ready or I would be late to class. Rushing to get ready, I could not remember if it was test day or not, I could not remember anything. Being able to sleep for a few more hours had really messed my sense of time up. When I strolled on to class, I came to realize that test day was not until the following class. When it was all said and done, I was just glad to call it a day.
Mode of writing: Narration

As I came back to campus from a nice weekend away Sunday evening, I wondered if any crazy events took place in my room. As soon as I opened the door to my dorm, I knew that my roommate has played party host all weekend long. The place was a disaster and she was not there, so I could not ask her what exactly happened. Cups, bottles, cans, and food took over the room and I could barely make it out of the common room to my room. When I walked into there it was not much better; it look like the next World War occurred. On my half of the room, nothing was where I had left it and all of my stuff had been tampered with. I was beyond angry that all of my stuff was out of place.
Mode of writing: Description

Fast Food Nation Post 1

From this chapter what I'd be interested in learning more about.
1. More about the McDonald's headquarters because it is in Illinois and that is my home state.
2. More about the Disney animators strike.
3. More about Kroc's plans to build an amusement park like Disneyland.
4. More about the reasoning for Disney to build Disney World in Florida.

Revision Blog

In order to make my essay better, Alissa suggested that I put more conversation into it. I think that is a really good idea and I plan on doing so. I believe that I can also make my essay more descriptive. I plan on building up anticipation in parts of my essay to leave the reader wondering what will happen next. I believe the peer edit was beneficial to us all as writers; we take in feedback better if it is from one of our peers.
My detailed revision plan includes: checking for punctuation and grammatical errors, adding in more conversation and description, and having a friend edit my paper for any other possible errors. I might take my paper to the Writers Room.
Alissa also suggested to me that I should not make the outcome of events so noticeable. I’m going to work on that part of my essay as well adding in my detail for a dramatic effect. I believe my paragraph order is in chronological order, so I don’t think that I will change that around.
I’m going to re-read my paper backwards from finish to start, so I can check for grammatical and punctuation errors better. I was taught this technique last semester and I think that it works really well. You catch things that may not be noticeable to you if you read your paper from start to finish in the revision stage.
Overall, I believe that I did a really good job on my essay; I’m not saying that it’s perfect because there’s always room for improvement!

Self-Evaluation for Draft 1

English 201—Essay #1 Draft Self-evaluation

1. Which prompt did you select? Why did this one appeal to you over the others? What other prompts did you consider?
The prompt that I selected was the second one. I choose to write about this one because I felt that I would be able to expand more off of this topic than any of the other prompts. I considered writing about the prompt from Shame, but I ended up choosing the one about Malcolm X.

2. Which mode(s) of writing were most helpful to you in terms of creating content? Did you primarily tell a story, compare and/or contrast or describe, for example? What other modes of writing/thinking did you utilize?

Primary mode(s): Narration

Secondary mode(s): Description

3. What specific details will you include for your reader? Why are these details important? What do they accomplish?
The specific details that I will include for the reader include the anticipation of try-outs, practices and gymnastics, and the falls which I took.
These details are important because the practices and gymnastics helped me to become the cheerleader that I am today, as well as the falls.
These details accomplish to tell my story about my past and current cheerleading life.
4. What “place(s)” or “scene(s)” do you try to recreate for your reader? Why are they crucial? Paste the most important scene in your essay below:
The places and scenes that I try to recreate for the reader was try-outs and some of the practices. They are crucial because the most detail is given at these points.
The very first practice, I began to learn how to full down from stunts. For months, I wasn't able to make it completely around. I was told, "Grab your pocket." For me, grabbing my pocket wasn't working and I would get stuck half way. In September, I tried a new technique and I was just waiting for the rough on the stomach painful landing. I made it all the way around and was very confused to what had happened and why I was not in pain. After months of hard work and determination, I mastered one of my newest goals.
5. Thinking in terms of your thesis, explain your main reason for writing…What are you hoping to accomplish in your essay? Why does it exist?
My main reason for writing this was to tell my story of cheerleading and to tell about the goals and obstacles I overcame. In this essay, I’m hoping to inform others that cheerleading is not as easy as it may seem.
6. Thinking in terms of your audience, explain what choices you made with your reader in mind…What did you include, what did you take out?
I decided to keep the parts about try-outs and practices. I ended up taking out the part about cheering at the games because I decided that it was not vital to my story with my goals.
7. What problems or struggles did you experience writing this draft? What kind of feedback would you like from your peer reviewers?
I did not seem to run into any struggle writing this draft. The feedback that I hope to get is making sure that my grammar and punctuation are proper.

Cheerleading My Working Goal

Brianne Butler
bmbutler@mail.usi.edu
English 201.010
Essay 1 Draft
Word Count: 1453

Cheerleading My Working Goal

Ever since I was a young girl, I have set goals. My goals have ranged from athletics to academics. Over the years, I have set more goals in athletics because I wanted to be the best. I began setting athletics goals when I was in the fifth grade. I was a member of all the school athletic programs and I was the tiniest one. I had to set goals for myself so I would improve, get better, and have more playing time. After a few months of setting my athletic goals, I began to notice improvement. From that moment on, I knew that if I set goals and strived to reach them that I would be able to accomplish all of my goals.
Before seventh grade, I had never heard of cheerleading. I decided I might as well try it to see if cheerleading was something that I would enjoy. When I first began cheering, I could not do a cartwheel. Once we began I knew that if this was something I wanted to continue, I would have to set goals so I could improve. I asked my mom if I could enroll in a gymnastics class, and she said I could. I started to go to the local gym, Midwest Twisters, and I was soon able to do a cartwheel. I was able to mark one item off of my cheerleading goals, being capable of doing a cartwheel. I then began working on harder tumbling skills; I knew these were not going to come to me as easy and they would take a lot more work and determination.

After cheering for one year at Holy Cross Lutheran School, I decided to transfer schools. I would be attending Collinsville Middle School. My mom called the school district to see when cheerleading try-outs were. That evening, she told me that she called and found out when the try-outs were. At that point in my life, I did not know if cheering was what I wanted to do. I really enjoyed basketball and track, and I did not know if I wanted to give up all other sports just for cheerleading. I ended up going to try-outs and I was certain that I was not going to make the squad based on my tumbling and stunting abilities. A majority of the girls could flip. I decided that I really didn’t have anything to lose so I went to the rest of try-outs. I gave it my all at try-outs and I knew the rest was out of my control to if I made the squad. The next day, we went to go look at the list to see who all had made the squad. The second name on this list happened to be mine, Brianne Butler, I was really excited. I then knew I would have to set a lot more cheerleading goals to improve so I would be right up with all the girls who could tumble.

At practices and gymnastics, I gave it my all; I wanted to get my back handspring. I was then introduced to more stunting than I was at Holy Cross; I was no longer a flyer and had to learn to base. I was still one of the tiniest so I knew it was going to hard work to be able to lift people that weighed more than I did. I set goals for stunting as well, but I wanted to focus more on tumbling. I began taking private tumbling lessons to get better. As the end of the year approached, I had improved but still did not have my back handspring.

Even though I still did not have my back handspring, I decided to try-out for the high school squad. When the day for high school try-outs came around, I was ready. I once again gave it my all and proved that I was working on my back handspring. I made the Collinsville High School JV cheerleading team. From here, I went back to flying and began to work on one leg stunts. I began stretching everyday so I would be able to pull things in the air. During my freshmen year of high school, not only did I get my back handspring, but I also got my round-off back handspring.

The following year at try-outs, I did all of my tumbling that I had and I made the Varsity Squad. I was still flying and improving my air skills and then I got moved back to basing. I had to start all over again, learning the techniques. I based for the next year and a half. My basing goals ranged from basing heel stretches to being able to catch full downs. I managed to meet my stunting goals. I set another tumbling goal that year; to get my round-off back handspring tuck. Every week at gymnastics I tried really hard, and despite numerous face plants to the ground and months later, I achieved my goal! My junior year of try-outs, I made the Varsity squad again and did my tuck at try-outs! I based this entire year without having to start from square one with stunting again. This year, I really decided to challenge myself, I wanted to get more standing tumbling. I took a countless number of face plants into the blue mats that year, but it didn’t discourage me. For our competition routine, I was told I would be doing a standing back handspring tuck; a skill that I did not have. Even though I could not do it, I was determined to get it. Every time we practiced our routine I took another face plant. Taking numerous face plants to the ground each practice was rough, in the end my coach took that part out because none of us who were supposed to do that skill could.

My final year on the high school squad, I had to start over with stunting skills, I was a new and young squad and was the only senior. I had to learn to back spot. I was accustomed to having to learn different places in a stunt group, so I took to it and told myself that I was going to be able to back all kinds of stunts. I became a great back spot. I also challenged myself to more tumbling goals. I told myself by the end of the year that I would have my layout and I would begin working on my full. In November of last year, I got my layout and I begun working on my full.

This past May, I figured why not try-out for college cheerleading, I tried out as a back spot and did all of my tumbling. That night, the coach, asked me about my standing tumbling. I wasn’t planning on throwing my standing tuck but I decided that I had nothing to lose. I took a face plant to the ground but I still held my head up and continued to throw it that night despite only one successful landing. I made the squad and immediately was told that I needed to learn to fly again. The very first practice, I began to learn how to full down from stunts. For months, I wasn't able to make it completely around. I was told, "Grab your pocket." For me, grabbing my pocket wasn't working and I would get stuck half way. In September, I tried a new technique and I was just waiting for the rough on the stomach painful landing. I made it all the way around and was very confused to what had happened and why I was not in pain. After months of hard work and determination, I mastered one of my newest goals. I have never set so many goals for myself in one year. I have gone from pro-back spot to a flyer that isn’t scared to fall from pyramids.
My main goal that I set for myself this year was to improve my stunting skills and to not be afraid of stunting. I have passed that goal with flying colors! I really proved this past month when we were doing stunts that I had never done before and I went in not afraid and I did what I had to do.

Moreover, I have set many goals in my life. Mostly, my goals have dealt with cheerleading and athletics. I still am setting goals cheerleading goals so that I can improve and become a better cheerleader. I know I am not the best and that is what pushes me to make and meet goals. For me, it goes to show that hard work and determination will help you reach your goals!